Why Conscious Parenting Is Your Fastest Path to Soul Evolution

The youtube version of this post can be watched here.

The Mosquito Story

Every parent has a moment they’re not proud of. One of my biggest emotional eruptions with my child began from something as small as a mosquito bite. 

If you’ve ever lost your patience with your child and later wondered, ‘Where did that even come from?’ — this story is for you.

When my son had just turned four and we had just moved from the U.S. to Taiwan, he got bitten by a Taiwanese mosquito for the first time. His hands and ears would suddenly swell up like balloons—it looked quite scary. 

Over time, as his body developed immunity, and mosquito bites no longer caused those extreme reactions. But as his mother, I still often worry. I always cover him in the strongest repellent I can find — like armor against those ‘toxic’ mosquitoes.

A few mornings ago, right before school, I was trying to apply mosquito repellent on my son, as I always do. But that day, he was being particularly uncooperative. When I tried to apply it to his neck, he kept pulling away and giggling, scrunching up his shoulders so I couldn’t get it on properly.

That morning, my energy was extremely low—so low it felt chaotic and out of sync. My hormones were all over the place and I had packed my morning with a long list of self-imposed tasks and expectations, which made me feel overwhelmed and tense. I was, without a doubt, in a low-frequency, high-pressure state.

His refusal to cooperate triggered me instantly. I was reminded of the terrifying image of his hands swelling up like balloons from past mosquito bites. That memory sparked a strong urge in me to control his behavior. And just like that, I exploded. In that split second, I forgot love and became fear.I yelled at him—loudly. He was stunned and scared.

In that moment, I realized something powerful and unsettling:

Even when the intent is to protect or care, the urge to control a child—especially when I’m in such a low and unstable energetic state—can bring out the darkest, ugliest parts of me.

That part of me exists.
It’s always been there.
But it tends to surface under extreme pressure, like some deep-sea creature that only emerges before an earthquake.

I could literally feel a beast inside me—one that seeks control, even force, to achieve a result and then feeds off the satisfaction of it.
The realization shook me.
It felt like a raw, unfiltered version of my “little me” rising up from the shadows.

“I realized the battlefield wasn’t between me and my son — it was inside me.”

Raising a child is like that—they push you to your limits, and in doing so, reveal all kinds of possibilities within you.

They’re like a mirror, reflecting back the full spectrum of your colors.

Meditation & Realization

After my husband took our child to school, I sat down to meditate.

Twenty minutes later, I calmed down.
Then I began writing the following words:

“You must have been under a lot of pressure this morning. That beast-like little self really does exist, and I fully accept that part of me. But it is not me—it’s simply a feeling I am observing and experiencing.”

Once I thought of it that way, the mental struggle suddenly disappeared.
My body and mind felt incredibly light and clear.

So then I thought, all the forms that my ego takes during parenting—I can accept them too. Their presence is valid, and they are understandable.
I accept every aspect of them, whether shadowy or bright.
But they don’t get to be in charge.
I am the one who holds all of them together.
I co-exist with them, but I am not ruled by them. I am the one who is in charge. I am the one.

And with that thought, my energy instantly returned to full power.
I suddenly felt uplifted and told myself:

“Starting tomorrow, I’ve decided to let my son learn to apply mosquito repellent by himself. If he gets bitten because he didn’t do it well, then that’s part of his learning process.”

I tell myself: let go.
Let the child learn. Let him go through it on his own.
That is the best thing I can do for him.

The Mirror of Parenting

That simple act of awareness, noticing my own energy, led me to a much deeper truth.

“We don’t just inherit our parents’ genes. We inherit their fears, their expectations, their energy.”

Yesterday, my mother asked me about the progress of my current work, and it really hit me hard.

 I’ve always been someone who relies on my own initiative to take on challenges. Between the ages of seven and seventeen, my mother wasn’t around much—I had to figure things out on my own. From that young age all the way to nearly forty, I’ve been making my own decisions.

So I have a very strong sense of personal agency.
And yet, just the night before, my mother questioned my work progress.
I could feel the subtle but very real energy of distrust in her voice—an anxious, scarcity-driven, low-frequency kind of concern.
It hit me like an emotional bomb—completely destabilizing the part of me that has always moved forward with strong, self-directed purpose.

Then suddenly, I started reflecting on my own behavior.

How often do I do the same to my child?
Rushing him to eat faster, telling him to hurry up and get dressed, not to be late;
pushing him to do this, not to do that; criticizing this, correcting that...

“And then suddenly, it hit me…” (small pause, eye contact to camera)

Wow.
I realized—I’ve been a soul-killing mom.

Every time I rush him, criticize him, lose my temper, or do things for him instead of letting him try, I’m slowly chipping away at his internal energy.

Even when I tell myself it’s “for his own good,” what’s really driving me is my obsession with getting things “right”—my need to control the outcome.

But this kind of control, if left unchecked, could block his natural energy from growing in a healthy way.

He could become fearful, hesitant, and stuck in a low-frequency state of anxiety.

In our generation, young people often find themselves asking: Why should we have children? I even saw a book in a bookstore titled “Why Should We Have Children?” — a question that would have been almost unthinkable just a generation or two ago.

Generational Reflection

“To understand this deeper, I thought of the women who came before me…”

My grandmother and maternal grandmother both had seven or eight children. That means they each spent at least a decade of their lives constantly pregnant and giving birth. In their time, the number of children a woman had—especially sons—along with her ability to raise them well, serve her in-laws, and take good care of her husband, were the primary measures of her value as a person.

But now, in our generation, more and more people around me are choosing not to have children—even those who are very wealthy. One reason modern people feel uncertain about whether to have kids is because the material benefits that used to come with parenthood have largely disappeared. In fact, raising children to care for you in old age” used to be the dream — now, not having them eat into your retirement is already a win.

So if raising children no longer offers any economic return, what is the meaning of having children?

The Meaning of Parenthood

Through my six years of experience as a mother, I’ve come to a very specific answer: love is the fundamental fabric of this universe. And children are the gift that allow us, as parents, to directly experience the raw, powerful force of unconditional love.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you had a loving childhood. The moment your child is born, you are given this precious opportunity—to feel what unconditional love truly means. This love flows both ways: from your child toward you with complete trust and dependence, and from you toward your child, freely given without condition or expectation. And when you feel the power of that love, you transform into something superhuman. You’re filled with strength—even if you have to wake up at 2 a.m. or 4 a.m. to feed or change diapers. When you feel your own unconditional love for your child, it’s not just you loving—it’s the universe loving through you. 

You become love itself. You become the universe. The universe becomes you.

That’s why I believe that becoming a parent is one of the most profound opportunities for soul evolution.

The Hardest Job

“But love alone isn’t easy. The truth is—raising a child will test every ounce of your being.”

The second precious gift I’ve received through parenthood is this: in the challenging process of raising a child, we go through immense trials. As a 39-year-old career-driven woman who has weathered many tests in my professional life, I can now say with absolute certainty: raising a child is far more difficult than any job. Seriously—any job.

We’ve all seen those scenes on TV or in real life where a man comes home from work, flops onto the couch, and justifies watching TV or playing video games because he “worked hard all day,” while his wife is juggling cooking, cleaning, and parenting—and he still has the nerve to complain that the house is messy or the child is misbehaving. Let me tell you, making money is easier than raising a child. For someone like me, going to work feels like a vacation compared to the demands of childcare. It’s relaxing, it’s enjoyable—it’s a pleasure. But parenting? That’s a full-on spiritual bootcamp. It demands 120% of your attention, energy, and patience.

When you're at work, you can take breaks. If you’re burned out, you can quit. But with parenting? There’s no quitting. And just when you're at your weakest—physically, emotionally, spiritually—your child will choose that exact moment to throw a tantrum or push your boundaries. You think you’re calm and grounded? Try parenting. You’ll meet the real you.

And yet, with great challenge comes great reward. Not material reward—not retirement support or someone to care for you in old age—but soul-level growth. As I shared earlier, something as seemingly trivial as applying mosquito repellent for my child turned into a powerful moment of inner transformation. That’s the magic of parenting: it cracks you open, tears you down, and then rebuilds you stronger, more conscious, more connected than you’ve ever been.

True Soul Evolution

So, what exactly is soul evolution?

Many people practice meditation, follow a vegetarian diet, do yoga, and so on—all in pursuit of soul evolution. And yes, these practices may all play an important role. But true soul evolution lies in this: whether you can face the sudden and unpredictable challenges of life, whether you can elevate your perspective to a higher dimension and look down at your current situation with clarity, and whether you can skillfully resolve the difficulties you're in. Every time you successfully navigate one of life’s trials, your soul power grows.

In other words, living life—truly living it—is the practice. 

And parenting, in particular, will push you into emotional storms like no other experience.

 Before becoming a parent, you were only responsible for yourself. But after becoming a parent, you suddenly become responsible for another life. Yet this child is not your possession. They belong only to themselves, which means they are not under your control, even though you're responsible for guiding their early development. So parents often live in a constant inner tug-of-war between control and surrender, responsibility and helplessness.

Choosing to become a parent naturally forces you to confront more complex and painful life lessons than you would have without children. But if you can face them one by one—day by day, situation by situation—you’ll inevitably gain a far deeper reserve of inner strength.

So how can you measure the progress of your spiritual energy?

Measuring Spiritual Growth 

It’s actually quite simple: just measure the time it takes you to recover from emotional breakdown to emotional balance. For example, in the mosquito repellent story I mentioned earlier, I was drained of energy in that moment—angry, guilty, overwhelmed. But I was able to shift from deep negative emotion to clear, calm, joyful energy in just 30 minutes. In the past, it might have taken me two or three days, or even longer. That’s how I know: my soul energy has evolved.

“That’s how I know my soul energy has evolved — not by perfection, but by how quickly I return to peace.”

The highest level of soul mastery would mean this recovery time reduces to zero seconds—you no longer need to “regulate” yourself because you’re constantly in a high-energy, centered state, untouched by external events. Of course, this kind of state takes a lifetime of cultivation. But the goal isn’t perfection—the goal is steady, conscious progress. And parenting, when done with awareness, becomes a powerful engine for spiritual growth.

Through my own experience, I can say with confidence: the greatest gift of becoming a parent is not just raising a child, but the rapid growth of your own spiritual power through constant learning, reflection, and practice. We raise our children, but they also raise us—mirroring back the unhealed parts of ourselves, giving us a second chance at growth that many adults would never otherwise get.

So, as parents, the ones we should be most grateful for are our children—for choosing us to be their parents, for giving us this shared opportunity to grow together. What a sacred and rare gift that is.

The Sacred Gift

“And so, when I look at my child today, I see not just a little human — but my greatest spiritual teacher.”

“If this story resonated, maybe it’s because you’re walking the same path — learning to parent while awakening your own soul.” Finally, I want to say: thank you to our children—for choosing to come into this world through our bodies, continuing their soul journeys. And thank you, too, to every parent who chooses to grow, who commits to learning how to be better. You’re doing beautifully. And when you feel tired, please rest. Recharge your inner energy. Because only a nourished soul can continue this sacred practice of parenting—with strength, and with love.

-Peggie Li

The youtube version of this post can be watched here.